The Sweater Song Vs. The Thong Song

Warning: I am about to tell you too much about myself.

I teach classes at the gym. Every three months I anxiously await my new choreography and music and tear open the envelope to see what pop song I will teach twisted with as a techno remix. Often they will mix two songs and the title becomes Song 1 Vs. Song 2. Today, something happened to me that made my mind mix two songs together.

I was sitting at a co-worker's desk when I suddenly became aware that when I leaned forward, you could see about 4 inches of my back (okay, my back and maybe the top of my undies). Let's just say if I was back at BYU in the Testing Center, or the Cougar Eat, the HBL, the Honor Code police would have probably given me a warning (You know how that feels, BFF). Anyway, I tugged on my purple tank top to cover up my purple panties, but I noticed a loose string on my panties. So, I gave that a little tug, too. But it wouldn't stop. I just kept pulling and pulling and pulling. I could feel the string that started at the top of my waist band work its way all the way to the danger zone. When I finally was able to snap off the string, I had a ball of thread about the size of a quarter in my hand. Stupid, cheap Old Navy panties.

So there it is: The Sweater Song Vs. The Thong Song. "If you want to destroy this sweater, pull this thread as I walk away (as I walk away). Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked. Baby make your booty show. Let me see that tho-on-ong."

Too much information? You were warned. Sorry, that's what you get from a day in the life of High-Heeled Hannah.